Pirates – A Meaty Affair With a Side of Good Times

Good Food. Good Prices. Good Vibes. That’s what it says on the waiter’s t-shirt at Pirates Steakhouse, and after our fifth visit as part of our monthly steak club, we can confirm: that motto isn’t just for show.

Tucked away in our local suburb, Pirates is the kind of place where you walk in and feel like you’ve been going there for years – even if it’s your first time. There’s nothing pretentious about it. It’s unapologetically pub grub, and that’s exactly what makes it work.

Steak: 6.8/10
We went with the fillet steaks all around – a reliable classic. Unfortunately, in the excitement of the evening, we forgot to request “no basting”, and the standard saucy finish ended up slightly overpowering the natural flavour of the meat. That said, the cut was tender, and juicy. The kitchen generally got the temperature spot-on, which is no small feat when cooking for a group. There’s no doubt the team knows their way around a grill.

Sides: 2.8/5
Sides were a mixed bag this time. The ribs were a hit – sticky, flavourful, and falling off the bone. In contrast, the calamari lacked seasoning and didn’t quite hold up in texture – a bit rubbery and uninspired. Chips were standard McCainsque fries, which, while crispy enough, didn’t add much to the plate. The standout? The Don Pedro. Creamy, perfectly blended, and smooth – a nostalgic South African classic  finish to the meal that delivered comfort in a glass.

Value: 3.2/5
For a full steak dinner, drinks, and dessert, R666 per head felt almost too good to be true – and yes, we noticed the devilish total. For what you get, Pirates still offers great bang for your buck, especially in a time where restaurant inflation is pushing prices ever skyward. It’s not fine dining, but you’re definitely not getting short-changed.

Service: 3.3/5
Lynne and her team kept the energy up throughout the evening. Our food arrived promptly, and drinks were always refreshed before glasses ran dry. There were a couple of minor slip-ups (some mixed-up sides and a delay on desserts), but nothing that took away from the overall experience.

Ambiance: 3.0/5
Pirates isn’t trying to be trendy – and that’s its charm. It’s down-to-earth, filled with salt-of-the-earth people, and when the band kicks off, the whole place lifts. We found ourselves out of our seats, arms up, waving them like we just don’t care. The live music is a real drawcard and adds to the sense of fun and community. It’s messy in the best possible way.

Final Score: 6.3/10
Pirates Steakhouse won’t win any Michelin stars, but it consistently delivers what it promises: good food, fair prices, and a vibe that keeps you coming back. We walked away full, happy, and already planning our next visit. For a casual night out that won’t break the bank, Pirates still sails steady.